CWIP

Pronounced "see-whip"

I've started something new. Well, first I started my lame-ass version of the US Navy Seals exercise regiment (http://www.stewsmith.com/linkpages/seal.htm) - mine only consists of pushups and crunches. I'm pretty sure I can do the minimum amount of pullups too. 

In any case, I've come close o the recommended amount and I feel like I've reached a limit on muscle mass. So, enter the Controlled Weight Increase Program (CWIP!). 

The plan is to reach the upper bound of the "normal" BMI level (25) while keeping the weight training going. 

My target weight is 160-165. Currently, I've leveled out at 153, which is annoying since I'm eating a lot more (I was 148 a week or so ago). The point is, not to try anything that's sold in GNC or any of those other stores. 

I'll go the natural way. 

Which... is probably a bad idea.

Genghis Khan sells me a house

I had a weird fucking dream. I was in California, looking at houses and I drove up to this rather exotic house on top of a hill. It looked small, but it was made of marble, so eh.

I walk in, and this huge chinese guy - "Genghis Khan" comes to greet me and shows me around the house. Everything was pretty nice about it, marble everything, passive cooling, helipad, olympic sized pool in the basement, half a dozen guest rooms. Apparently most of it was underground, but light was channeled through mirrored ducts so it still felt natural.

Anyway, he takes me to the master bedroom and he says - "I like to keep things a little exotic around here" and pushes a button and the wall transforms into this huge piece of tempered glass, about a foot thick.

Behind the glass are a ton of exotic animals, LIONS, TIGERS, JAGUARS, each in their own cage. Further along the wall, I see dangerous snakes, poisonous insects, all sorts of dangerous living things. "Collections from my trip through China", he says.

I was like - "Shit... I really like this house, but I can't sleep at night. I'm going to hear fucking footsteps or something."

My friends were like "WTF? Genghis Khan is still alive?" and "OMFGBBQ YOU HAVE FUCKING TIGERS IN YOUR HOUSE" and "LIGERS!!!!"

I guess I did end up buying that house. lol Genghis Khan.

He kind of looked like that, except without the retarded hat.

Rip on line toot.

How's the new color scheme? I actually like the color orange, but haven't been able to use it for the last few years. Now that I'm sufficiently removed from the UT campus, here it is.

These two commercials kick ass.





Your son Rip is on line Toot. hahahaha!

Yep

June 28 was a long fucking time ago, huh? Well. I finally found a place to stay in Houston. Searching for a place to stay is a precarious, precarious job, especially in Houston. 

I did find a few places that were within the 650-800 price range I was looking for - Harvest Hill, Parque View, some random condo on Cambridge St. Yet they were all so uncomfortable to look at! Broken sidewalk-having shady-looking places. 

So I settled on the Maroneal. It's a small palace with an enormous rent. Oh well. I have enough space for visitors though. (Yeauz!)

I have to reiterate my comment on exclamation marks, because I recently saw some engrish/chinglish/hinglish that ticked me off. 

Multiple exclamation marks only work with one or two words, else it seems like you're shouting, aka, a complete douchebag.

Hey!!!! = Hey! (more/less)

How are you! = "How are you!"

How are you!!!! = HOW ARE YOU

Why the fuck someone might need more than one exclamation mark is beyond me. (except in lol!!! - a legitimate use.)

I was watching some show about crazy dogs and how their owners can't keep them under control and had to hire some dog trainer to come beat the shit out of these dogs. (No, it's not Caeser Milan) These dogs had their own landrovers.

...

These dogs had their own landrovers.

These dogs had their own landrovers. (and nannies. each one.)

What the fuck? Maybe this couple is bitter they can't have real children. Or maybe the Chinese baby they adopted ran away because he was only given an Accord when-

These dogs had their own landrovers.

They would take the dogs out on the town, and one of them would try to attack almost any person / animal / moving thing it saw. This is why sometimes, I like gun laws. If one of those rabid things got near me- Pop!* 

Forget the dog, train the owner.

Actually, it's unfortunate I'm not trained enough to wait for the dog to bite my hand and repeatedly press V to grab and break its neck.  

Press V, DAMN IT!, PRESS V!

Sigh. Time for more pushups.

*: Or "Tzzuit!" depending on what I was using.