Abacus energy has a few dumbasses working for them.

I checked my mail today, and found this. I was irritated. Please GFY, abacus energy. I should get a discount for having to put up with this bs.

Of course, the date says 5/15, and nothing was disconnected. Still.

Poll: Should D throw a shitfit? And to what magnitude?

Fuck youtube.

I always get stuck on some series of videos.



Yep. Admit it. It was good. I also know how to say "Eddie marries bush bitch" in German.

MURPHY GIFTER SIG MED DJUNGELBRUD. I guess I learned something.

I went to a tattoo and body art exhibit this last weekend. It was pretty wild. I'd say more people were getting tattoos (or had gotten one there) than not. Also, they kept telling me to KEEP MY PHONE DOWN, so I wouldn't sneak any pictures. And I didn't really try since there were these huge biker gang people near the entrance waiting to pounce on the unsuspecting / running med student.

I was also horribly out of place. NASA cap, BCM "eat, sleep, medicine" tshirt, jeans, tennis shoes.

But you know, I think I'm eventually going to get a tattoo, I just haven't made up my mind yet. Someone once told me you need 3 good reasons? "Wanting one. Check." Now I need two more. I remember one guy at the VA had his last name tattooed across his lower abdomen. He was also encephalopathic and almost smacked me*, but that's another story. He was also going through 3-4 Type 6 stools** a day and the nurses would tell me, in broken english "HE SHIT THREE TIMES ALREADY", so I suppose they didn't like me either.

Fun times.

Back to the tattoo. It has to be something fucking cool like.. a science tattoo. I'm rather partial to the DNA helix wrapped around my upper arm. Or maybe something physics-y. Then people would say "wow, you must have gone through a lot of work/effort in physics to put that ink on you in the 'NEVER FORGET' kind of mentality huh?"

"Well, maybe, but I just got bored one day," I'd reply. Or maybe just stare off into space with a disaffected look, which I'm still trying to master, because there are a lot of boring people out there.

*: Don't worry. D > pt afflicted with hepatic encephalopathy.
**: I forgot the name of the scale, so I just googled "Bristol poo". Thx, google!

Day in the life of.

For most people that'll read this, this is going to be pretty routine. Everyone else, including [Future D], maybe not so. He will have forgotten what it was like.

That's YELLOW. 20th floor YELLOW is where I did most of my work. SLEH is a maze. I theorize it's because patient rooms need windows and hospitals love to expand. 

For most of my SLEH days, I get there at 630 or so. Not because it takes me a long time, but the walk can get hot and sweaty if I leave any later than 615.

1) Log onto a computer, review overnight and morning labs, see if you have any news for the patient, see if you have anything you need to focus on.

2) Wake up your patient. Some of them are up watching TV already. If they are, these people become my main source of news every morning. I learned of the NYC car bomb through one of my patients (and the next day he told me how utterly retarded the criminal was). I openly tell my patients that they're my main source of news. They feel useful, I get my dose of happenings outside the hospital.

3) Rounds usually start at 8AM. 8AM-9AM rounding. The attendings pretty much knew everything. There wasn't much pimping. But a fuck-ton of interesting facts. For example, 2 lectures on the history of chemotherapy. And did you know the nausea, vomiting, diarrhea can occur even before chemotherapy started? Maybe you did. But do you know which patient populations are most susceptible to it? I didn't.

4) Incredibly important is a cup of coffee. Here is my hand, holding a cup. I need a manicure. One of the many good things that came out of my SLEH experience was a GI tolerance to coffee. BRING IT. No more gastro-colic reflex. 

5) Sometime around 858, I start heading down to the basement to 9AM-10AM morning report*. Which consisted of a lot of napping with my eyes open, although retrospectively, I should have been paying more attention. Somewhere down this long ass hallway + a few turns = morning report room. That purple poster on the wall is about brain aneurysms and clipping/coiling techniques.

6) One of the most irritating things about the SLEH experience was the number of lectures. I usually had one hour after morning report to do whatever (usually finish up a note or finish reading an article). Then, on most days at 11AM, there was some sort of lecture. Sometimes ABG interpretation (done horribly), sometimes heart sounds (done well), sometimes an assortment of random lectures. Lunch is at 12PM. 

7) Another great thing about SLEH was the food. Sometimes we had a choice. I'm not a terribly big fan of choosing what I have to eat, since I'm ok with 99% of everything out there. Actually I'm going to end that discussion here and pick it up another day. It's a post in itself.  Here is some orange-ginger-chicken.

8) At around 1PM, I go back to YELLOW, 20TH floor. Maybe eyeball my patients once again for a second set of rounds with another attending at 2PM. Get another cup of coffee and wait in the meeting room, get some more reading done. Picture of me waiting minus me. 

Yes, I carry a travel sized bottle of Listerine in my white coat. God knows what you'll get for lunch. Also, I love onions. Listerine is a lot quicker at a temporary cleansing of teeth and breath. You'd have to chew gum for a good 5 minutes. Also, walking the hallways chewing gum makes you look like a fucking moron. 

9) Well, my day usually ends after 2-3PM rounds. Sometimes a bone marrow biopsy is required. Sometimes the intern likes to teach. Definitely by 4PM. 

10) On Thursdays we have grand rounds at Baylor at 1215PM. Here is a picture of a random naked man near Methodist. Zoom in by all means. The guy is completely naked. 

Did I miss anything?

*: Will talk semi-extensively about morning report another day.