Ghosts and Beauties and nasty Biologists

Look at that strange title... I hope you don't get your expectations too high.

1) The Ghosts. (or Ghost, I should say)

Today I went to rLab. Yes. I know it's a Sunday. Anyway, there was a soda in the fridge when I opened it so I took it. Then I saw that the fridge was nasty. I felt a little guilty, so I cleaned the fridge. THIS is where it gets worse.

There was mold covered food, tofu with mold, cheese with mold, pasta with mold. I've been to 3rd world countries and haven't seen this kind of nastiness ever. I would have to say, it took me 30 minutes to clean up. So disgusting. Damn biologists. Such nasty people. They just leave food in there, go work on their project, and forget about it. ???? Anyway, the fridge is clean now, and I'll make them buy me food for making me clean it.

As I was leaving, I shut the lights off, closed the door, and JUST when I was closing it, I looked inside the dark room and I saw a woman on the other side of the lab bench. SHIT SHIT SHIT. [Remember, I was the only one there.... and the lights were off]. In the little light that was coming through the doorway, I saw a ghost. I think. I was probably imagining things, but it was f******* scary. I slammed the door and walked BRISKLY.

haha. I'm still afraid of ghosts.

2) The Beauties

Ok right now I'm in the lounge working on organic, but i CAN'T work because there are two really pretty girls in the corner. Here is the dilemma. Between the pretty girls and me, (in my line of sight), are two apes.

Yes folks. Apes. Apes as in really .. really .. ugly.. girls. I'm really mean for saying this, but they are apes. I'm not that superficial, but I'll break it down..

Ugly girls constantly need help, are mean, and can't do anything right. Did you see superficialness there? Anyway, the beauties in the corner are smart and good looking. The uglies are dumb. That's how it goes. Sorry if I offended anyone, but if you're not good at anything, then you're probably ugly. That's how it goes.

So anyway, I can't smile toward the beauties because the uglies will get THE WRONG IDEA. And I DON'T want that happening. Whheee.

Lol. They're so cute.

OK. I'm done. There are more than two cute girls in this world. [probably more uglies though].
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At this point, most of my female readers have either left, or are wondering "Am I ugly?"

FEAR NOT! Here is the test. If you can satisfy one of these things, you are not ugly. Period. Punto. まる。

1) Can you explain molecular evolution?
2) Can you explain quantum mechanics?
3) Can you explain LaGrangian/Hamiltonian theory?
4) Can you successfully sequence Actinomycete DNA?
5) Can you teach me Japanese?

These are all things I need to work on. Geeky. Yes. Absoutely Nerdy. Well, you're either a nerd or you work for one.

If you can do one of those things (or could in your past), then you are not ugly. If you can't, see below.

YOU ARE UGLY IF:
1) You take advantage of people
2) You are ____ese. <-- lol. (not too many "eses" in the world...WORD IS CENSORED SO I DON'T GET HURT)
3) You really really love money
4) You think money is awesome
5) You'd do anything for money
6) You don't care for anyone
7) You are suspicious of many people
8) You wear too much makeup all the time
9) There are probably some more....

Well. If you can do one of those 1-8 things, you look like a horse's ass (to me, anyway). Don't worry, I'll still help you.


Pretty mean huh? Yes. Mean.