Things I do

I occasionally go to this cafe on West Gray - aptly named WEST GRAY CAFE - mostly because there's no one there and since they know me I can get away with ordering a coffee and mooching internet / power for hours. It's not bad. Sometimes I'll get some fries / onion rings and I won't get judged for that either. 


Pretty boring so far, right? Well the real treat in a DITLO D is the journey there. If you could follow me around - pretty difficult since I'm both a defensive driver and somewhat maniacal* - would notice that I BUMP to music. And I only do this when I'm alone. Old school Eminem? D becomes the brown rapper on Montrose. Literally. Driving with my left hand, busting out beats with my right, windows down, sunroof open, volume pretty high and rapping out loud. Any song, you name it, after a few listens, I've got the lyrics down, and it's showtime. 


Most recently, I was bumping to Telephone by Lady Gaga. It's actually an insanely good song. It's not even some veiled reference about her rejecting some dude, which is what I thought initially. If you listen to the lyrics carefully, as I've had to do you'll hear - 

Not that I don't like you,

I'm just at a party.

And I am sick and tired

Of my phone r-ringing.

She's just at a party and is like - fuck this phone! I'm just going to dance and ignore it completely and possibly get drunk off bub. Also, not text anyone, either. That entire song is about JUST. THAT. 

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…

I sound like I have terrets**, weaving my little sports car in and out of lanes. People sometimes find me in the middle of my song and wonder if I need an MRI. Truth.


In any case, I can totally understand . Quick story, sometimes you'll have a chick over, watching a movie or something and things are about to get serious when you hear that familiar iphone mail notification sound. I can't onomatopoeia that sound very well. That sound often happens 5 times in a row in 10 seconds, which means the listserv administrator just approved 5 messages and they were all instantly pushed to my phone. And I, like a conditioned crackhead, put a pause on the serious moment and reach for my phone. This fucking junk mail (wilderness medicine / rotation swaps / SIMS / etc etc etc) is piling up and I gotta delete it. 


Fail.


Fuck this phone!


Other than that, a lot Lady Gaga's songs sound the same. I couldn't tell the difference between Lovegame and Just dance for the longest time. 


Lady Gaga is a pretty shitty artist. Yeah, I said it. 

*: Which is not dangerous. I'm predictably maniacal, which is safe. It's unpredictability that makes drivers dangerous. 
**: lol.