Tea

If there's one thing I can generalize about Indian people, it's tea. Well, that's all I have to say about that. Now for a personal anecdote.

Often when I go back home, I have to play chauffeur. Sounds boring, but it's actually a very interesting job. Mostly chauffering my mom around. Almost exclusively. So everyone piles in the tank, and off we go. And by everyone, it's mostly me and my mom and sometimes my sister. And more often than not, the destination is a mall.

"Great. Going to the mall." you say. Actually there's a lot of people watching to be done at the mall. And lots of interesting stores. Just lots of stuff to look at in general. Back to the point. Recently discovered by the D family is this place called Teavana. Basically, a lot of hippies work in the store, but upper class hippies* - the other, semi-homeless kind (having a thrown away couch and a mattress to sleep on does not count as a full home) can't afford the rent in Dallas.

Anyway, D family walks in there, actually just my mom and my sister, and start sampling all the teas. Then I start sampling, because - what the hell - I feel left out. Somewhere in the midst of asking me which one tastes good, as expressed on my face by an "eh" or a "it's ok" look, it was decided that I like the strawberry lemonade pomegranate tea blend.

Now, I'm not sure who decided this, or how someone misread the "it's ok" face, but there is now strawberry lemonade pomegranate in the pantry when I go home. And when I go home + 4 hours, there is fresh brew strawberry lemonade pomegranate in the fridge.

But really, I will say, my favorite part about Teavana is the sugar. (Of course.) Not just regular ass sugar, but this stuff :

Some seriously awesome sugar.

They have it in a jar inside the store with small 1/2" deep wide cups, and outside, there's this:

Look closely. SAMURAI CHAI MATE. 

The procedure:

1. Obtain about 15 rock pieces in the small 1/2" deep wide cup.
2. Pour in SAMURAI CHAI MATE.
3. Slowly swirl + sip SAMURAI CHAI MATE.
4. ???
5. PROFIT!!

No I'm kidding. The real way to do it is -

1. Obtain about 15 rock pieces in the small 1/2" deep wide cup.
2. Pour in SAMURAI CHAI MATE.
3. Slowly swirl + sip SAMURAI CHAI MATE.
4. Look around and notice everyone noticing you slurping your tea.
5. Ward them off with piercing eyes.
6. Feel like a fucking stegosaurus drinking from your stream while occasionally sticking out your tongue into the stream to taste/access the sweet rocks at the bottom.

Mock all you want, random Northpark mall by-passers.


*: Have a job, specialize in something - in this case, the marketing of tea.