30 September 2010

Birth of twins

I saw this the other day on the oatmeal blog - ‽ - an "interrobang" or a "quesclamation mark", which I think are both stupid names for a symbol of limited utility. Let me introduce two symbols that are much more useful - "!?" and "?!" 


The first symbol illustrates the true meaning of the preceeding sentence, and the second one spins the meaning These are best illustrated through example - "What the hell are you doing?"


"!?" - Let's say you see a friend beating up a seal, you would use What the hell are you doing!? Of course this is not a legitimate question, thus "!" is first. The "?" highlights the incredulosity*/stupidity of the activity. "!?" is much more limited in use than "?!" as you will see.


Some examples:
How can you eat so much!?
How can you sit at that computer so long!?
Why haven't I seen a post all month!? (could go either way)


"?!" - Let's say a friend has not picked up a phone call for a long time. What the hell (have you) been doing?! Legitimate question, "!" added for emphasis. In fact, you can add "!" to the end of any question for emphasis.


Some examples:
What should we do for lunch today?! (more excited)
How did you do that?! (more curious)
Who is following me?! (more worried)


The "quesclamation mark" bs is quaint and of limited utility. I like mine better.




*: Not a real word. 

22 September 2010

Discretionary.

I got another paycheck today, from my anatomy TAing work, and I thought I would write a bit on discretionary spending - how I calculate it, how I determine what discretionary means.

Right now, discretionary spending is set at 7.5% / 5% actual, meaning 7.5% of everything I get goes toward doing "whatever I want." You'll understand why I put that in quotes in a little bit.

Everything I get includes - occasional cheques from my parents for living expenditures, stipend money, random odd jobs I may do from time to time, etc.

So what happens to the rest? Well, most of it goes into rent, obviously. The remaining goes into groceries and utilities (my only 2 expenses besides rent). Simple enough, right? Wrong. Staying within these confines is exceedingly difficult, not because I tend to cross the 7.5/5 limit, but it's much more of a challenge to classify what's discretionary and what's not.

First, let's start off with this 7.5/5 business. What the hell? Ok. 5% actual means someone gives me $100, and I can use $5 on whatever I want, but that [whatever I want] my incur additional expenditures as well - best illustrated with an example.

Say I want to rent a movie (lol). I drive down to my nearest Redbox, pop in $1, come back and enjoy it. Well, what about the gas to go there? The electricity to run this endeavor? The food cravings I may have in the middle? All included in the 2.5% buffer. I realize 2.5% may be a little high, especially in the preceeding example. There is a minor problem with this - what about the time wasted and impact on career and life? Yeah, an extreme - but still a consideration (now that everything else is squared away, lol).

So out of $100, $5 to spend on anything I want (not $7.50) and a $2.50 buffer to allow for some flexibility - "it costs money to spend money" sort of deal.

Even more of a difficult question - What counts as discretionary spending? This actually has a lot of day to day variation to it, really, just depending on my mood. There are a few hard and fast rules, though:

Rent and utilities (except for the caveat above) obviously don't count.
Groceries - most don't count.
Bread / milk / eggs / cereal / rice / meat / pasta / fruit / other essentials don't count.
Gym membership doesn't count.

Ice cream does. Coolwhip does. Even juice does. Almost everything not in that list above does, actually. Clothes are iffy (usually not) but such a rare purchase that it's negligible.

Even still the 2.5% buffer is rather large, but it starts diminishing when you consider variations in expenditures above. The extra 50kWh of energy for gaming. The variations in price in groceries (when two different brands taste the same, one is more expensive and the difference counts as discretionary). So really, the 2.5% buffer is to keep me from going crazy. I think it's a good rate.

By now, a few of you might be thinking - D is a goddamn cheapass. I would argue for 'controlled'. There are some things I care about, and some things I don't. I have quite a bit of [actual] discretionary spending saved up - (some $400 ish), and I'm thinking about taking lessons in a few things. Maybe buy that expensive Sony blu-ray home theatre system I've been eyeing for weeks now.**

Finally, I don't really have the time and energy to impose this on anyone else, and I don't really care what anyone else does. Your limits are your own. Although, if you're doing crazy shit like eating out daily and spending a ton of money on ice cream, you've got issues and I just judged you.

*: Which, I would have done for free. Shhh.
**: To the point that TPTB are sitting on the buy button.

21 September 2010

22 August 2010

Tea

If there's one thing I can generalize about Indian people, it's tea. Well, that's all I have to say about that. Now for a personal anecdote.

Often when I go back home, I have to play chauffeur. Sounds boring, but it's actually a very interesting job. Mostly chauffering my mom around. Almost exclusively. So everyone piles in the tank, and off we go. And by everyone, it's mostly me and my mom and sometimes my sister. And more often than not, the destination is a mall.

"Great. Going to the mall." you say. Actually there's a lot of people watching to be done at the mall. And lots of interesting stores. Just lots of stuff to look at in general. Back to the point. Recently discovered by the D family is this place called Teavana. Basically, a lot of hippies work in the store, but upper class hippies* - the other, semi-homeless kind (having a thrown away couch and a mattress to sleep on does not count as a full home) can't afford the rent in Dallas.

Anyway, D family walks in there, actually just my mom and my sister, and start sampling all the teas. Then I start sampling, because - what the hell - I feel left out. Somewhere in the midst of asking me which one tastes good, as expressed on my face by an "eh" or a "it's ok" look, it was decided that I like the strawberry lemonade pomegranate tea blend.

Now, I'm not sure who decided this, or how someone misread the "it's ok" face, but there is now strawberry lemonade pomegranate in the pantry when I go home. And when I go home + 4 hours, there is fresh brew strawberry lemonade pomegranate in the fridge.

But really, I will say, my favorite part about Teavana is the sugar. (Of course.) Not just regular ass sugar, but this stuff :

Some seriously awesome sugar.


They have it in a jar inside the store with small 1/2" deep wide cups, and outside, there's this:

Look closely. SAMURAI CHAI MATE. 
The procedure:

1. Obtain about 15 rock pieces in the small 1/2" deep wide cup.
2. Pour in SAMURAI CHAI MATE.
3. Slowly swirl + sip SAMURAI CHAI MATE.
4. ???
5. PROFIT!!

No I'm kidding. The real way to do it is -

1. Obtain about 15 rock pieces in the small 1/2" deep wide cup.
2. Pour in SAMURAI CHAI MATE.
3. Slowly swirl + sip SAMURAI CHAI MATE.
4. Look around and notice everyone noticing you slurping your tea.
5. Ward them off with piercing eyes.
6. Feel like a fucking stegosaurus drinking from your stream while occasionally sticking out your tongue into the stream to taste/access the sweet rocks at the bottom.

Mock all you want, random Northpark mall by-passers.


*: Have a job, specialize in something - in this case, the marketing of tea.

31 July 2010

Things I do

I occasionally go to this cafe on West Gray - aptly named WEST GRAY CAFE - mostly because there's no one there and since they know me I can get away with ordering a coffee and mooching internet / power for hours. It's not bad. Sometimes I'll get some fries / onion rings and I won't get judged for that either. 


Pretty boring so far, right? Well the real treat in a DITLO D is the journey there. If you could follow me around - pretty difficult since I'm both a defensive driver and somewhat maniacal* - would notice that I BUMP to music. And I only do this when I'm alone. Old school Eminem? D becomes the brown rapper on Montrose. Literally. Driving with my left hand, busting out beats with my right, windows down, sunroof open, volume pretty high and rapping out loud. Any song, you name it, after a few listens, I've got the lyrics down, and it's showtime. 


Most recently, I was bumping to Telephone by Lady Gaga. It's actually an insanely good song. It's not even some veiled reference about her rejecting some dude, which is what I thought initially. If you listen to the lyrics carefully, as I've had to do you'll hear - 


Not that I don't like you,
I'm just at a party.
And I am sick and tired
Of my phone r-ringing.


She's just at a party and is like - fuck this phone! I'm just going to dance and ignore it completely and possibly get drunk off bub. Also, not text anyone, either. That entire song is about JUST. THAT. 


Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…


I sound like I have terrets**, weaving my little sports car in and out of lanes. People sometimes find me in the middle of my song and wonder if I need an MRI. Truth.


In any case, I can totally understand . Quick story, sometimes you'll have a chick over, watching a movie or something and things are about to get serious when you hear that familiar iphone mail notification sound. I can't onomatopoeia that sound very well. That sound often happens 5 times in a row in 10 seconds, which means the listserv administrator just approved 5 messages and they were all instantly pushed to my phone. And I, like a conditioned crackhead, put a pause on the serious moment and reach for my phone. This fucking junk mail (wilderness medicine / rotation swaps / SIMS / etc etc etc) is piling up and I gotta delete it. 


Fail.


Fuck this phone!


Other than that, a lot Lady Gaga's songs sound the same. I couldn't tell the difference between Lovegame and Just dance for the longest time. 


Lady Gaga is a pretty shitty artist. Yeah, I said it. 

*: Which is not dangerous. I'm predictably maniacal, which is safe. It's unpredictability that makes drivers dangerous. 
**: lol.