Never eat brownies before a pap smear.

It sounds like I have a pretty revolting story, but it's not that great. They were passing out brownies at the VA today and I was waiting around waiting for my patient to finish prepping and NOM NOM NOM on this brownie, except recall that I have a few cavities. (= brownie bits getting stuck)

Also, the brownie had a lot of powdered sugar on it, a lot of which ended up on my lips. So what do you do when you bust into a room, a young woman all in the stirrups, with powder on your lips? I'll tell you what I did. I'm almost certain I licked them. Worry not, I don't think she saw (she was staring at the ceiling). Still. Don't do it.

I also had to fight the urge to pick out pieces of brownie from in between my teeth while doing a pap smear.

The other day I was told I had a dirty mouth. I swear, I only curse for comedic effect. Let's take a look at a few situations.

For example, this is dinner fail. After a month of eating (seriously) healthily, I busted this out for tonight out of sheer laziness. If you had asked me what I had for dinner, I would have replied with:

Yaki-motherfuckin-soba!

(y-mf-s!)

You can almost see the horribly concealed grin on my face. I'm also lactose in tolerant, so when I told someone I might be going out for dessert and they asked "Oh, ice cream?", I replied with: 

No. Frozen fucking pussy yogurt.

Again. Grin (well, not so much with that one). These are extreme examples, but you get my point. Does this really count as cursing?* 

Back to MEDVAMC tomorrow. I like it there. Some of the equipment there is better than the posh Baylor Clinic.

I be on it.

*Not really?