30 September 2006

Cooperation and Chicanery

A couple of days ago, I left my flash drive somewhere. Life was hard, but it seems like it will return to normal, although I will always remember the great times my flash drive and I had together.

There's one single reason why we're so inefficient today and that's because we refuse to cooperate. We're too proud and we think we matter too much. I know I didn't stick my flash drive in some crevice or some hidden place. Most likely, it was in plain sight and someone pilfered my information (nothing crucial, though). I'm not sure what kind of conscience you have to take something and not have any regrets on returning it (or make trivial amounts of money off your friends, ah but we leave that for another day...). All you had to do is look through the drive, give it to me, and I would have bought you one, if you needed it.

Ideally, acts of kindness should not be rewarded (well, not by me, anyway), because they're part of human nature. It's in an unwritten code on how men should act. I'm not "grateful" that I'm not a victim of a terrorist attack, because that's how life should be lived, devoid of fear and worry. (This is different from CD-related worry...).

We refuse to cooperate and our costs of living skyrocket. We need security, military, ID cards, anti-spyware software and authentication protocols. The rise in nationalism causes countries to faction, researchers to look away and refuse to share information. How much better could life be if people didn't act so lower-class, so pagan?

Often times, one looks into biology for solutions to real-world problems and this is one of those times. The intricate human machine operates near flawlessly to a point where people can call it 'intelligently designed', which emphasizes what over 4 billion years of evolution has perfected; evolution has brought cooperation into the human body, with every piece cooperating with something else. When cooperation breaks down, a cell destroys itself in a mechanism called apoptosis, or programmed cell death or cell suicide. Many would say that suicide is 'savage', but in order to protect surrounding cells from becoming cancerous, it is a necessary alternative; self-sacrifice for the good of the community.

The marketplace buffoons would say that competition is good for the economy and the customer. What they fail to see is that cooperation works better (also they fail to see that business school teaches you how to whore yourself out, again... another day).

So bring everyone together, weed out the crazies (AND THE NEOCONS), implement eugenics, strict expulsion protocols and world class healthcare and research facilities. Make an interesting utopia filled with perfect people; I want a peaceful place to live in, dammit.

This is called the "Mexican Hat Wavelet". I kid you not.

28 September 2006


So today I got paired with Mr. Extreme testosterone in TKD. Actually, I came to realize that the only thing he can really put his unnatural muscles to use is by punching. He can't do the kicks! Jeez! After all that teeth-sharpening before class, the kicks are... sigh.

So here I am standing, bracing for impact, and all of a sudden, this WEAKSAUCE foot hits the pad. Whoa! I can kick better; rotate the torso and deal a life-threatening blow (I wish, but really, I can kick well now). Near the end of class, San Yoon says do 65 crunches, a number we've been increasing by 5 from 25 when the class started.

I started to think.. All those crunches (now around 130 a week) must have some effect. [looks down]. Yep. It's starting to take shape. Waist to Hip Ratio 0.7, here I come. Oh yeah. And we've only had 4 weeks of class... another 11 more, and I'll have some real kevlar down there.

Salsa is fun, but I'm not staying for swing again. I tried swing dance and the beat is weird, making me feel like a cowboy. (NAW, YEEHAW, GIT EM LASSOS, etc.)

Money money money. Apparently that's what the world is about. Well, I have yet another reason why people should stop investing so much money in sports and divert it to academic research- betterment of life!

I can't stand these idiots that squander away millions of dollars when it could have gone to producing the next generation CT system or MRI machine. How can you live with yourself? 50 years down the road, you're going to say "Damn it, I should have partioned money to research that could have detected my brain tumor 20 years ago which caused me to make all my stupid decisions in the first place".

Well I guess the cycle is unavoidable. If anyone that enjoys sports (and you know you're just feeding into the frenzy) gets a brain tumor 40 years from now, just think... it could have been avoided if you had just cancelled your Longhorn All Sports Package and given that money to a budding researcher. Many a proposals by me have been shot down because we lack funds to make our CT machines better. What about splitting the thick crystal layer into multiple ones, each with it's own scintillator? What about using solid state electronics instead of DIFFRACTION? (TOTALLY WEAK FOR 21st CENTURY KTHX)

SIGH. I'll probably get a brain tumor too, but I don't even enjoy sports.



26 September 2006

Sad. :(

lab8:~math137$ ls
Desktop mail volumes-1.tex volumes.tex
lab8:~math137$ mathematica
xset: unable to open display ""
xset: unable to open display ""
xset: unable to open display ""
Can't open display
lab8:~math137$ startkde
xsetroot: unable to open display ''
xset: unable to open display ""
xsetroot: unable to open display ''
startkde: Starting up...
ksplash: cannot connect to X server
kdeinit: Aborting. $DISPLAY is not set.
Warning: connect() failed: : No such file or directory
/usr/X11R6/bin/xrdb: Can't open display ''
ksmserver: cannot connect to X server
startkde: Shutting down...
Warning: connect() failed: : No such file or directory
Error: Can't contact kdeinit!
startkde: Running shutdown scripts...
startkde: Done.
lab8:~math137$ SIGHZ
-bash: SIGHZ: command not found
Damn you. I left my USB flash drive somewhere, and I can't imagine why anyone would want it (except that it's a 1GB flash drive). Anyway, I've become attached to that thing, so I've been in the shitter all day long. That little thing has seen me through dark and light, rain and shine, sadness and complacency.

Well, it was free, but it's value is priceless to me. If someone found it and gave it to me, I'd give them like $35. That's enough to buy a nice 1GB SanDisk Cruzer, not the generic brand that I had.

Also, note to anyone that does find it- There's nothing of value... couple of pseudonocardia sequences, papers, cell bio notes. It's a good thing I run the synchronization profile every day (sometimes a couple of times a day), so all the data is backed up to my computer anyway. I just.. want it back.

In anticipation that I may have to buy another flash drive, I have opened up more tutoring hours (9 this week, along with 5 from DIT) and will probably continue to do so until I have $100 beyond my usual pay. Just to buy a $20 flash drive, and I'll spend the rest at Oma's Kitchen to make me feel better.


23 September 2006

Goals / Itazura Denwa / Jinsei

Yesterday, the schedule was near PERFECT until 8pm. See, I was going to go to UT Ballroom to brush up on some more dance moves, but alas, Friday night lessons start at 6pm and go to 8pm, so I walked in, and the instructor was saying "Ok! You guys practice; let me put on some Rumba music before I leave".. --> Desolation. :(

Before, I would have said something on the order of "dancing? That's a little homo...etc etc"
I've realized I'm well beyond that, and I certainly don't go to UTBDC to pick up chicks like this one guy I know. One of my goals this semester has been to learn all the Latin dances there are and possibly become proficient at them. Although some of the girls are interesting, I've come to realize that there are very few that actually fit my taste, and I've been around superficial ones long enough to recognize them by their stench.

This brings me to my next point- I don't like people touching me. Just get over it. A friendly pat on the back is one thing, but more than one a day* is excessive. If it's one thing I hate, it's man hugs. Man hugs piss me off.

Thursday night, the day before my cell bio test, I got a prank call at 1:38AM. It was Sibin Chen, but I didn't recognize it from the number at first. So originally, I thought it was Jonathan, so I gripped my aircraft-aluminum flashlight by it's head (to beat people with the tail) and I started to calmly walk to Jonathan's room to administer a beating, but he wasn't the one that called me. Oh well. I went back to my room, and my CELL PHONE NUMBER was on a POST IT NOTE on my DOOR. Sibin lives far, so I have yet to find out how someone on my floor got my phone #, and had the time to monitor me and put that on my door.

Due to the incident mentioned above, my ever so light sleep has become even lighter, and I now keep a utility knife near the head of my bed, as well as the default tactical flashlight near my side. A typical scenario would be something like this: Attacker enters, I stay motionless but still very aware.. and right when he's near, I blind him with my flashlight, flip it over, and subdue.

I like my flashlight so much I even carry it in the daytime. YEAH.

I did some thinking about my career options and why I want to be a CIA agent as well as a doctor (maybe either/or) and I came to a conclusion.

Direct Intervention! I like the power of intervention. Both professions are completely unnoticied when the job is done well. If the surgeon does his job right, the patient's life continues as planned. If the agent does his job right, life continues as well. I thrive in those situations where panic and desperation arises, where someone is required to set things straight, make a difference.

*: There are exceptions. For example, if I finished all my homework --> [pat] and played a good game of racquetball [pat], then that would be excessive. But if I finished all my homework and then cured cancer or something, that would deserve two pats. Just play it safe and keep your hands to yourselves.

I would have 2/3 of the title in Japanese, except these ME HPC lab machines don't have Japanese input installed :(

22 September 2006

F***ing Hypocrites.

Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.

While it's perfectly ok to say something like that, it's probably not the nicest thing to say, no matter how true it is. That last statement only applies to normal people. First of all, the Pope was quoting something. It's like me quoting that statement, except unlike the Pope (I think), I actually think it's true:

Taken DIRECTLY from Wikipedia:
  • About 2,000 Palestinians in Gaza City protested the Pope's statement on 15 September; a Greek Orthodox and an Anglican Church in Nablus were fire-bombed.
  • On 17 September 2006 two Somali gunmen shot and killed an elderly Italian nun, sister Leonella, working at the Austrian-run childen hospital of Mogadishu, with her Somali bodyguard. (On a personal note, I have no mercy for anyone that attacks a hospital)
  • The Iraqi militia Jaish al-Mujahedin (Holy Warriors' Army) announced its intention to "destroy their cross in the heart of Rome… and to hit the Vatican."
  • Islamic Salafist Boy Scout Battalions threatened to kill all Christians in Iraq if the Pope does not apologize to Muhammad within three days.
Is that not enough proof? It doesn't surprise me that these people can't see the hypocritical nature of their actions. What's the only continuing major conflict that wasn't instigated by the Muslim religion? (I'll tell you- IRA & the Irish). No major world religion directly advocates violence in their scripture nor beliefs, but one comes close and it's the twisting of these words that many MANY people use to their advantage.


It is time. I knew it was coming. I say 4-5 years before American GI's are crawling all over that place.

These politically charged blogs are going to pwn me one day.

20 September 2006


Seriously awesome.

Today, I finally realized something. When I signed up for my BME class, the BME advisor was like.. "I'm warning you... it's a difficult class". Of course, with the enormous hubris that physics instills in you, I thought "yeah. right." WRONG. WRONG.

This class will be difficult. Although he did guarantee MIT acceptance to anyone that does well. :-/

15 September 2006

Squall, Ligers, and Smothering Pillows.

I had a squall moment in cell bio today. Now I usually don't chronicle this, so enjoy it while it lasts. The question: How would chaperone proteins recognize new proteins that have just been ejected from the ribosome to help them fold?

I waited, as I usually do. There's a saying that goes "It's better to sit there and look stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt". I usually follow that. Making a mistake in my mind is not salvageable by any means whatsoever, even if the next couple of answers are right. So I waited and no one gave an answer! 10 seconds later, my mind began to waver and also, I was itching to know, so I thought a little and came up with an answer.

It's worth it to try, and even if you make a mistake, you're bringing up a good point

You can't just wantonly shout out random thoughts. The fact that no one else knows means you're probably wrong too.

I call in situational veto powers, overrule on Moral, working on determining validity of the answer.

1 second later, I was convinced I was right.

It's time to make the move. Get me voluntary control and communications, let's start the process.

0.25 seconds later, my hand was in the air, ready to dish out a response. In fact, I hadn't even completed 4 words when _____[Professor] was like 'you're right, exactly'. That's a squall moment.

Today I saw a shirt that said LIGER on it. Ligers and Tions are those things that I'm always amazed only to realize a minute later that I've seen & read about them before. This time was different. How exactly do you make a liger? Rather, how exactly do you make a male lion mate with a female tiger? That got me thinking... and weird things happen when I think. I thought...you would probably have make the tiger EMULATE a female lion by dressing up the tiger! Yet this isn't your run-of-the-mill dress up fantasy. The tiger wouldn't actually KNOW it was being dressed up say... after it's bath. It's casually eating a steak while a bunch of zookeepers are spraypainting lionish graffiti on its back. So after it's done with its steak, although she doesn't know it, she looks like a lion. Ok. Part II: 10 minutes later, they're grazing the field, and then WTF WTF WTF. The female tiger looks back and it has a lion mounted on it. "WTF? STUPID LION! I'M A TIGER!" says the Tiger. But the deed is done.

Either that, or the lion is just retarded.

All these movies about people dying from being smothered by pillows. I tried it. Nothing happens. Pillows are completely breathable. In fact, they smell good. People should stop being pussies.

12 September 2006

Why Physics?

So I can do things like that.

Appreciation or Snorkeling?

I chose snorkeling for a strange reason. I've had a very long day today, so the post will be short, a longer one to come tomorrow. Anyway, I'm a little tired of hearing all these praising phrases over and over, especially since they mean nothing. Today, someone said "You're a good boy". Wtf. I'm 20 dammit.

Today, I tutored math for 3 hours straight. I still have NO idea how to do Riemann integrals. Since it's not going to show up anymore, that's a relief. After math I had a 1.5 hour long physics session, then I went to lab to conjure up some more failed gels. yay. Actually I keep forgetting what I'm going to ramble about.

09 September 2006


9-10-06. It's been almost 5 years. (That period was originally an exclamation point.)

I don't see any security improvements, except that I can't take my beloved Dasani on the plane. That's about all I have to say. Nothing about the victims or anything, since enough will be said in the next day or so. That's the thing about 'tragedies'. Something happens, but then, 3-4 years later, everything stays the same.

One tragedy that really pissed me off (especially since nothing was done about it) was the
Phanta 'Jack' Phoummarath deal. And on that note, I'm terribly dissappointed with UTPD. I was stopped by UTPD 2 months ago for running a stop sign. After 2 minutes of police questioning, 4 other squad cars pulled up and it seemed like a drug bust outside Patterson.

Yet, they can't seem to catch the underage drinkers! Hey! I'll give you a hint.. try... FRATERNITIES... Every year, some kid has to die, because others are idiots. In fact, if you drink, and you're under 21, you're probably an idiot. What's your reason? Show off? Doing it so you can feel bad? Oh no! I took a sip of Bacardi, I'm BADASS. O SHIT.

In fact, if you're over 21 and you drink, you're probably an idiot as well. Unless you are addicted to it, then you're not an idiot now, you were one before. There's no reason to drink, just like there's no reason to smoke. All the drinkers complain- "Smoking is so nasty..." etc. etc. Well you're just replacing one drug with another. Congratulations, you're a hypocrite.

All complain and no solution is NO FUN, so here's a list of changes I see fit, and I can almost guarantee UT's drinking problem will decline dramatically. With the Patriot Act, I'm sure something can be worked out:
  1. Random, thorough searches of dorm rooms. Conducting 20-30 random searches on each FLOOR per year will keep pissant idiots from being well... more pissant.
  2. Heavily increase Friday night patrols; at least 4-5 searches of major parties each Friday.
  3. Perusing through Facebook/MySpace/[...] to find repeat offenders, profile, search and destroy.
  4. Amend state law to make it similar to drunk driving- 3 repeat offenses of either 1) dishing alcohol to minors or 2) consumption of alcohol as a minor will provoke a minimum 10 year sentence with all 10 years devoted to prison-community-service.
  5. Undercover agents. Yes. Please send me in. "Helped bust numerous parties, reduced underage drinking at UT" = Haavard <3
  6. Rewards for informing police, depending on how many offenders are caught.
  7. Fraternities that serve alcohol should have permits and those caught should be disbanded, assets seized, members' classes voided for that semester and all members be assigned to 300 hours of community service that semester. Those serving alcohol get the same along with that mark on their record- detailed above.
That's all I have for now, and that took 5 minutes. I'm sure UTPD can come up with more. Some of my more radical ideas have been to intercept alcohol shipments into Austin, inject them with trace amounts of paralyzing drugs, track the shipment and search everyone's ID card. That probably wouldn't fly so well.

The great thing is... we only need to put like 10-20 people on that 10 year sentence and people will sober up. Then I won't have to see random black people peeing on the sidewalk when entering Jester after 11pm.

07 September 2006


A long time ago, some excessively mean girl forced me to read a page of Bridget Jones' Diary. Many entries started (logically) with the date, then mentioned something about weight, giving a particular value.. Well, I'm going to do something similar, and start with what's important to me:

1 Year, 8 Months until I land in Narita for a 2-3 month (or 1 whole year) of vacationing.
Still a nub in most things. SIGHZ

That's right. I was in the shower today (which they finally fixed), and when I walked out, this eurobeat song was playing, and some guy yelled out 'TOKYO!' in the song. It was awesome. So that's going to be me when my plane lands. I've got it all figured out: Delta Airlines to LA, ANA to Narita.

The only problem is money, and I'm going to need about $20-30,000. There's only one way that will happen, and I have to work harder. Probably you guys all think I'm kidding, but I'm serious. I've had no fun lately, and it's all going to burst out in about 2 years. So awesome. I seriously can't wait.

I've been reminiscing unconsciously recently. I woke up today, and this phrase was stuck in my head- How Now Brown Cow?


The handicapped.

I think everyone is really good at something; it's just a matter of finding out what that is.

Many times, I've seen this girl that's blind (or vision impaired), and I applaud that kind of perseverance. It's enlightening to see someone not only struggle, but also overcome. I'm a big proponent of 'play the cards which you've been dealt' kind of thing, something she seems to do well.

The reason I'm mentioning this today, is I saw her in J2 for lunch, and she was being escorted by a DHFS worker through the lines, and probably to her seat (I didn't make any more conjectures beyond that). This worker didn't look happy, and it was irritating. You're helping a blind girl; the least you could do is be happy that you're not blind. Next time, I would like to volunteer to give assistance, because that's probably more of a service than sitting around with people and trying to muddle past their discussion of vacuous girls. These angry workers need to quit, they're upsetting more than a couple souls.

A part of me (1-2 members) complains that I didn't step in, or the numerous times I've seen her outside RLM, and never did anything. Of course, I keep telling myself next time can be different, but probably not. Anyone? Any ideas? How do I solve this dilemma?

What a gift sight is. _c____s is full of people that don't deserve it and so many idiots out there that can see, but waste the rest of their bodies. Who's to say that the blind can't be the next Einstein or Fermi? I suppose the only placating idea is that most of them don't know what sight feels like, so by comparison, it's like.. flying an airplane. I've never done it, and I only hear about it, so I can't assign that much pleasure to it. I'm a total ass for comparing the need for sight to my desire to fly a plane (and land...).

Worry not. If I get my way, I would help to better man. Friends and family are not that important, we should all work to better ourselves.

Also, I went to pick up my TKD uniform, and there was a guy across the bus from me, and every so often he was flailing his arms wildly. After a while (since I was only looking at him from the corner of my eye), I started to think he had Tourette syndrome and I proceeded to chuckle softly waiting for the occasional verbal outburst. When it didn't come, I took a hard look and I realized he was deaf and was talking to his friend.

Yes. I'm weak, and that was nubsauce. I should stop thinking.

On a side note, I think (and objectively...) being a physics majors gives me all kinds of insight into being entertaining.

05 September 2006

Interference & Intervention

Here's a situation:

Girl X has been "alone" for some time, whatever alone means. Desires relationship/companionship, etc. I.. don't have any time to entertain these things, so I'm supposing she moved on, yet desperation kicks in, and a 'companion' is found. Companion X smokes, drinks, works a menial job in a restaurant, significant covering of body with tattoos, and is NOT a student. Girl X looks beyond this (or doesn't see this at all). It is clear that X brings demise, and eventual pain.

Interference or Intervention? Unfortunately, very little can be done; few proactive mandates on this issue will pass. It's well beyond interference, and well out of acceptable behavioral standards for intervention. Girl X is not close enough for intervention, so both interference and intervention are ruled out, and the only option left is to watch and learn. (and this should be amusing)

Perhaps I'm expected to say things, but I don't. I don't like to interfere, unless I accidentally blurt something out, or it's necessary. If you ask me what I think of something, you'll almost never get the whole opinion. That's just how it is. You should be prepared for the entire opinion, and I'll give it if you ask, but don't offer any rebuttals.

I tend to have stricter rules for intervention. Likewise, I would prefer people not openly passing judgment on my actions, as I don't of theirs'.

02 September 2006

At least ONE class over.


I still don't remember, but I thought of something else. This is somewhat of an extension on yesterday..

A lot of people defer to assigning epithets that include animals/objects. How many times have you used something like that to describe someone? I have to admit, this originally started as "How would I describe myself?", and I couldn't find a right entity/thing that serves an adequate description. The best I could come up with before I deemed it a selfish question was "Ninja" and "Hummingbird".

Both I'm sure you agree are interesting creatures. So how would you describe yourself?

Also, I do quite a bit of thinking in between classes. Another thing I think about is about all those periods in time where innovation slowed to a standstill (and I believe we're in one right now). Like the Dark Ages, and apparently, technology for viewing cells existed in the late 1500s (1590), but no dye, so nothing was very visible. Also, who ever invented that first compound microscope didn't think of a light source.

Why does the world go brain-dead every once in a while. I'm inclined to blame it on religious fundamentalism, and it's probably true on some level, but there must be a better place to put the blame. Maybe pakis? Well. That's an interesting beginning. Oh, I'm kidding. Don't go jihad on me (and prove me right).


You can always tell the seriousness of the class by what happens on the first day. Let's take a sampler:

  1. Cell Biology: Hand out syllabus (in color too! zomgz +30 for Sisson), spend 20 minutes talking about it, then raffle for two new textbooks. No instruction
  2. Classical Dynamics: Hand out syllabus, spend 5 minutes talking about it, jump into 1st, 2nd rank tensors, rotation matricies, "essential mathematical tools required for the rest of your life". Definite Instruction
  3. Japanese: Hand out syllabus, 紹介。(Introduction of oneself). Somewhat Instruction
  4. Tae-Kwon-Do: Warmup, then proceed to make sore every muscle in my body.
  5. Medical Imaging: Syllabus, Lecture (short)
So TKD is more serious than cell bio. Actually I forgot what I was going to ramble about.