Yesterday night, I decided to get some food at Wendy's. Two discussions will result from this experience.
Apparently some PSA fest had just finished. "Basant 2007" or something like that. A group of them had just returned and were eating at Wendy's. I instantly recognized one of them. Rewind. Earlier this year, they were having some rally where they were raising money for some charity.
Yes, nice cause. Back then, one of them came up to me and guilt-tripped me into giving a dollar (or 5, I'm not sure how much I gave...). Yeah. Ok. Guilt-tripping me isn't that hard, and as you've probably noticed, I can guilt trip myself pretty easily. So I gave him a dollar (or 5..) and went along my way with a unshakable feeling that I'd just been jipped*. I'd soon forget, after a dispassionate (yet sufficient) lecture on chymotrypsin from Yin.
Fast forward, a couple of months. Same guy ordering Wendy's talking to his friends. So I decided on a social experiment. I quickly extrapolated where they might sit and sat nearby. YES. I was eavesdropping. But I had to know. Anyway, I heard he had bought some alcohol a couple of hours ago**.
But wait! What about the starving children and guilt-tripping random UT-students into donating money? Surely if you're that devoted to the cause, you'd forfeit your night of drunkenness to help those in need.
Perhaps next time someone tries to extort money out of money, I should tell them to 'screw off', but there's that chance that a request might be genuine. Perhaps I am too nice, but undoubtedly, my optimism in humanity presently wanes.
Separation of Environments;
This is important, but I don't think too many people understand. OR Maybe they do, but are trying to suppress their nature? Or be more white? I have no idea.
There's a distinction to be made between areas of the house, clothing, behavior, etiquette, etc. The psychologists would say "ingroup" and "outgroup", and this is sufficient, so I'll use these terms as well. It is somewhat difficult to describe this, so I'll give some examples:
1) Ingroup - Anywhere where there is carpet/wood. Take your damn shoes off. I'm serious. My bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, laundry room, etc are all ingroup. With the sole exception that you're coming into my house to walk past the kitchen into the garage to fix the garage door opener because you can't get in from the outside, take your shoes off. I won't even say please. If you see a pile of shoes, you know what to do. In the unlikely case that we have nuclear winter***, we will burn the shoes first for heat, since I will not be leaving my house.
2) Outgroup - Stay on the tiles. If you find yourself being invited to ingroup areas, Congratulations! You're ingroup (in this aspect, anyway).
1) Ingroup - If I talk to you**** in any one of these pieces of clothing, you're ingroup - Pajamas, boxors, shirt off, pants off, completely naked. Enjoy!
2) Outgroup - If I talk to you in anything else but not the aforementioned articles of clothing, you're outgroup. Sulk in the corner.
1) Ingroup - This one is simple. Ask yourself - Would he be saying this to Dr. _____? If not, you're ingroup, else, not.
Etiquette: This one, is usually limited to food engagements, so I'll treat it as such.
1) Ingroup - See me shoveling salad with a fork (like rice from a rice bowl? any takers?)
2) Outgroup - See me ask for a chilled salad fork (which I will use with my right hand, stfu).
Many cases, neither will happen. I have no idea where you lie. Maybe Middlegroup.
Why is making this distinction important? Well, ingroup enjoys many privileges and outgroup, well, sits on the sofas near the tiled entrance (with your feet planted on the floor and not on the coffeetable) and bitter from the imposed tacit regulations, fakes apathy by reading magazines.
Outgroup girls would get very bored at the slew of IT, news, science, and technology magazines. Not that girls don't do science, just the ones I know are very indifferent about it. Tragic.
*: I had to look up how to spell this.
**: I know the exact amount, but can't release it - self-ID would be way too easy. Notice that by saying "he bought alcohol" but not focusing in on a particular PSA-member, I am making broad generalizations. Yes, they're not true, but the story goes on.
***: Which, I'm not so sure about anymore...
****: The talk distinction is important; I frequent J2 and Wendy's in my pajamas. "Deluxe Chicken Sandwich meal, please" does not constitute as talking.