01 December 2009


I finally bought a pair of jeans. It's been a long time coming.* My last pair was 5 years ago, and profoundly tight. Like, cut-off-blood-supply-tight. I know a few people that writhed in agony seeing me in those jeans.

These actually fit pretty nicely, but every once in a while, the seam looks a little shiny. Yes, I made sure they were a men's pair.

Well, here go some first impressions:

1. Why does this pair cost $49? (after a discount, ON Black Friday) I can get 2 shirts and a graphic tee for around the same price.

2. What's with the 99% cotton, 1% spandex? I don't have anything with spandex in it. Should I be worried?

3. There are a lot of seams. And they're all on the outside. (Should I be worried?)

4. To be honest, the thing lacks symmetry. A coin pocket on the right side, not one on the left as well. The more you look at it, the more profoundly ugly it looks. What is this? Ford automotive? Fuck Fords.**

5. At least the thing lacks an obnoxious 4 inch dragon-creature-thing characteristic of Express. Showing that off, although not the pinnacle of douchebaggery, comes pretty close.

I guess you can come take a look in about 6 hours.

*: Just as clinics start. Yeah, fml.
**: Fuck domestics, actually. Recently they've been trying to go the Honda/Toyota/MB way with their looks. Really, just... stop trying.

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